Saturday, April 5, 2008

Don't go into the Water

Ok, While you're reading this, I'd like you to just click play below if you don't mind:






How scary is that theme song?..so obviously, we're talking about the scariest monster on EARTH - the shark. not the little baby sharks...i'm talkin' the real deal here.


I'll tell you why they're the most scary: The threat is 100% real.


Jason? Not real. he's been killed so many times it's ridiculous
Freddy? Not real. see above
Michael Myers? Not real. also see above
Leatherface? possible...but doubtful
Zombies? Nice try news article about zombie chickens...but nope!
Poltergeist?...well...you got me on that one...that could be real...

I remember vividly that feeling of being introduced to the movie JAWS for the first time...


from that moment on, i've completely convinced myself that I am going to get eaten by a shark.
and then, around that same time, Shark Week was on tv....
and this one girl was just splashing along on the shore...only in knee deep water...and BAM! eaten.

but I digress...Sharks, for me at least, are beyond TERRIFYING. not only are there more cases of shark attacks, and more sightings of sharks in shallower areas than in years past (just ask Shark Week on Discovery channel)....they really look like this:


and this:

and...this
<-----bloody teeth from eating probably a person they look vicious and pissed...and they eat flesh...and adorable little seals...and PEOPLE. And don't even try to tell me that everytime you're in the ocean...or even in a swimming pool for that matter...that you're not imagining this brushing past your leg-


coming up behind you-



AHHHHHH!!!!!-


And what makes them even more horrific is that the only time you will encounter them...it'll be on their turf. Sharks will ALWAYS have home-field advantage...meaning that you'll never win...not even if you get a bigger boat.

I'm almost psyching myself out of going to the beach, that's how scary they are.

So, I decided to start checking out other shark-inspired movies. I didn't realize it, but there are more than you could ever imagine.
I mean sure, we have the heavy hitters: JAWS and all of its sequels, Deep Blue Sea (which I think is mainly associated with L.L. Cool J's version of "Deepest Bluest"), Red Water (Featuring Lou Diamond Philips btw), and Open Water.

But then there were a few that I wasn't as familiar with, but interested/terrified of:
-12 Days of Terror: which is about sharks patrolling NORTHERN NEW JERSEY and killing people. It was actually based on a real life event and inspired JAWS.

-Mission of the Shark: I actually think I saw this one..and it was horrifying. this ship sinks, and the men are all sitting ducks in the ocean and are picked off by hungry sharks. another working title was "my worst nightmare when i was on the cruise".

Then there's one called "Megalodon"which is a about prehistoric type of shark that is HUGE:

See that blue thing? well, that's me. The green? that's a Great white...and guess what the red one is. yup, Megalodon. Which apparently means "Mega teeth".
Don't believe me?

Don't steal life preservers that aren't yours buddy!


But hey, sharks aren't your cup of tea and you're still hooked on zombies? there's always:
Zombi 2...which features zombie vs. shark action.

So, if you're looking to make a spOoOoOoky night without going straight for the halloween related-grab a shark movie. they're great any season...especially summer.
This Website and This Website both list all real and fictional movies about sharks.

4 comments:

I'll try that! said...

So when there's no more people or rats, the zombies will go after the sharks? I seriously never knew that.
It must take you hours to put all of these clips and pictures together in such a way that they makes sense and flow together nicely. I'm enjoying it.

Monster Bash said...

it really does! thank you for appreciating all of the hard work i put into halloween-related topics!

Jim said...

Kim,

When will you be debuting "Ilovechimpodemayo.blogspot.com"

I would accept almost any method of death over being eaten by a shark.

"It's eating me! Oh my God, it's still eating me!....still eating me!"

It just seems like it would go on for hours

Monster Bash said...

jim, i think that's another great point-shark attacks do seem to go on forever!

ilovechimpodemayo.blogspot.com? nah...

i have more to say about halloween than i do about fiestas and planet of the apes combined. sorry.