Wednesday, December 24, 2008


'Twas the Eve-il before Christmas
and all through the cemetary
All creatures were morbid
both the spooky and the merry

The gargoyles and reindeer
the pumpkins and 'nog
all rushed to see
what was on Monster Bash Blog

Though I probably should be wrapping
On this spoOooky Christmas night
I've decided to write a poem
about ghoulish jingle bell fright

Although it isn't Halloween (yet)
There is still much to fear
MB Blog wishes you a Scary Christmas
and a Happy Boo Year!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Seeing the The Tree at Rockefeller Center

"seeing the tree is taking your life into your own hands with the crowds of people rockefeller center"

I just wanted to say that I typed the above quote on Saturday, December 13th, as a reminder to myself to blog about what makes the Tree at Rockefeller Center in NY so spOOoOoOoOoky.

Little did I know, that on Sunday, December 14th, we would go into the city and experience it first hand in unimaginable ways.

Perhaps I'm psychic? That's a whole 'nother spOOoOoOoktacular blog within itself!

Let me preface this by saying that I am the most ungrateful near-New Yorker/New Jerseyian on Earth. Not only am I minutes away from New York City, which would be the envy of city-lovers everywhere, but I HATE it with the deepest of hates. You know that song "You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch"? Well, replace "Mr. Grinch" with "New York City" and you have my feelings detailed in song. (P.S. I just learned that there is a recording of the song by RuPaul....pinch me, I'm dreaming).

I know, you're probably angry with me and how ungrateful I am that I live so close to a place that people LIVE for and yet, I'm pissy about it. But hear me out:

First of all, I'm a country bumpkin. Not really, but I'm a suburban bumpkin (I like the word, it rhymes with pumpkin). I like not-busy places, I dislike pushing through crowds, I don't like loooong lines and traffic, so much so that I avoid it at all costs.

So being in the city is sPoOooOoOoOky enough for me.

Also, let me emphasize that I'm very happy for you if you like the city: I'm not being holier-than-thou, because to each their own..I just dislike it with every fiber of my being.

Anyways, so going to the city is never at the top of my list. I'd rather play spoOOoOoky Nintendo or watch Nightmarish National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

But once a year or so, I'll suck it up and take it on the chin, because it's Christmas time and I do appreciate that the tree is so close.

We figured we'd go on a Sunday, because Sunday to me seems like it'd be less busy than a Saturday night or a Friday night..right? wrong.

We took the bus in (another horror story within itself for the directionally challenged --> me), and about 2 1/2 hours later (it typically takes 20 minutes to get into the city), we arrived! At...Port Authority...and then ....walked....walked...walked....walked...

And then I saw the Saks Snowflakes (my fave), followed by throngs of pushy cityfolk.

And then I heard something off in the distance...

pounding bass...

loud yelling...

A monster invading the city? Are we in that Cloverfield movie? was just....T.I....rapping.

T.I. was in the city.

On Sunday.

And of course, people were going apeshit.


Anyway, as we pushed our way to look at this tree, I just remembered grumbling about wanting to leave.

Then we went to Serendipity 3 to try to get this friggin' Frozen Hot Chocolate that I try to get every year...

2 hour wait.

buhhhhhh. frightening.

Finally after a delicious meal (so delicious it was scary) at Brother Jimmy's (try the sweet tea!), we headed back for the bus.

and of course, the bus terminal had moved because it was after a certain time.

Seriously, if Renee didn't know the city like the back of her hand, Jim and I would have been sleeping on the sidewalk. I would've never found my way out of the city alive. There was one point where I believe Cos said "this feels like a scene in a horror movie"...I couldn't agree more.


And that, my friends, is holiday horror enough for me.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

A Christmas Carol Scared the Dickens' Out of Me

The best version Pictures, Images and Photos
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens is a scary Christmas story...go figure! Something can be scary about Christmas besides holiday shoppers! It was published in 1843, and **fun fact!** It was published, according to Wikipedia my love, because Dickens was in debt. And now it's a classic. Maybe I should write a book, because I'm broke. Kidding! I'm no Dickens, I'd probably write a book about pumpkins, puma sneakers, or Lil' Wayne's tattoos.

The story...of course you should already know about. Ebenezer Scrooge is, well, an old miserly scrooge (for lack of a better word), and tortures everyone with his bitterness and hatred, especially poor Bob Cratchit's family. Most gut-wretchingly, there's Cratchit's son, Tiny Tim, who is deathly ill with a mystery disease that Wiki claims is renal tubular acidosis (which, if you can tell me how they came to that conclusion you're a far better ghoul than I). I would've guessed Polio? Anyway. He breaks your heart, and makes you hate Scrooge even more for putting Bob through the wringer.
Ebenezer Scrooge- My hero-  except on Xmas Day Pictures, Images and Photos

Is that Scrooge the guy from 12 Angry Men? (Jim help me out here) :

I think it is...anyway....where was I?...oh yes.

Now, here's where we get to the scary. The night before Christmas, Scrooge has an epiphany...he meets three ghooOoOoOoOosts! The ghost of Christmas Past, the Ghost of Christmas Present, and MBB's fave: The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come...aka the Grim Reaper.

Of course, after meeting the last ghost, Eb realizes that he doesn't want to be that guy anymore, and turns a new leaf. The END.

Now let's get back to good ol' Grim Reaper. I mean, this guy rules. Look how scary he is next to a crying Scrooge:

ghost of Christmas Yet to Come Pictures, Images and Photos

He looks great on stage:

Scrooge and the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come Pictures, Images and Photos

and on TV:

michael carter

He's even ominous in Scrooged with Bill Murray:
Ghost Of Christmas Future Scrooged 400 Pictures, Images and Photos

Even Wikipedia has a scary picture of what the Grim Reaper looks like (well, a skeleton, but still...spOoOOoOoOoky):

"Take myy haaaaaand....we're off to never never laaaaand"-Metallica 1991

I'll be honest, if he came to me in a dream, I'd clean up my act too.

Anyway, if you want more Christmas Carol and especially more Ghost of Christmas Future, you can read the story on this site,

Also, check out what horror-wood says about it, I love it.

Not a reader? Never fear - There's a movie adaptation from 1951 called "Scrooge"

Even the Muppets tackled it:
The Muppet Christmas Carol Pictures, Images and Photos

Not scary, but still....kinda scary.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Attack of the Killer 'Nog Blog


The name makes me want to both vomit and giggle at the same time. Is that possible?

There are many reasons why Eggnog horrifies me.

First of all, Eggnog is extremely...EXTREMELY fattening. Every year, my father doubles in size due to drinking 'nog and eating eggnog ice cream. Doubles. He actually owns "eggnog pants" which are twice the size of his regular pants for the months of November-January. That's a spoOoOooOky thought within itself...doubling.

Secondly, and most importantly, the texture of eggnog is disgusting. The 'Nog is mostly made up of milk, sugar, cream...and beaten eggs (I know, you saw that one coming didn't you? Is it the name?). So, we're drinking raw eggs, essentially, and we're not training to be boxers. Of course, for the 21+ crowd, there is also the happy addition of rum (or brandy or sherry or cognac or whiskey...I guess anything to make you drunk enough to not think about the gross texture of raw egg) to eggnog. Atop this mixture of barfworthy ingredients, there's the sprinkle of nutmeg and sometimes if to try to make it less disgusting.

Thirdly, can we go back to the raw eggs? Let me count the ways that drinking raw eggs can be bad. Barfblog does a pretty damn good job of it themselves. The CDC, which I became great friends with during my stint as an undergrad, says that raw egg consumption isn't great. Wikipedia also has a laundry list. Why am I risking death and disease for something this gross!?

Fourth, despite these horrible factors about it, I'm still strangely allured by it. I mean, I wouldn't say I like it or enjoy drinking it...I think I feel drawn to it and almost obligated to drink it. Perhaps it's genetic, because my father lives for it? Perhaps it's because I like rum in beverages because it makes me think of Pina Coladas and the tropics? Perhaps I feel like I'm Christmassy when I drink it? I don't know. I just don't get it. But that's dangerous....because by drinking it, I'm accepting and allowing the above reasons to take over. Eggnog is an evil temptress, praying on my eggnog confusion.

Not enough of the mysteries of eggnog for you? This website has the history of 'nog for you.

Are you thinking about making your very own batch of monster nog? Here are the top 20 Recipes for Eggnog, as proposed by, a website near and dear to Monster Bash Blog's cold black heart.

I think this recipe is probably the most and best reviewed though.

Drink with caution!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Mistletoe of Death

I'm sure you can probably sing along to songs like "I'll Be Home for Christmas" and "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas", and of course, Jim's fave: "The Christmas Song". In each of those songs, there's a line about mistletoe.

Ah, mistletoe. We put it up in doorways so that unsuspecting lovebirds can smooch under it. That's also the site where we saw mommy kissing' Santa Claus (badum-cha!).

Why? Who's Scandanavian though, according to Wikipedia. Even Wikianswers is confused. I personally like the's explanation. It's all about the berries, baby.

Anyway, I'm sure it has something to do with "good fortune" or "love" or whatever.

But let's call a spade a

Now wait, I're upset. You don't want me bashing classic Christmas traditions and let me just say that these are just my humble opinions...and cold.hard.facts.

According to my new fave,, the word mistletoe is derived from Olde English my name is! (Not Monster Bash, my real one)...nice enough right? Wrong. The words "mistel" and "tan" translate to "Dung" and "twig", respectively. That's right: DUNG-TWIG. Mistletoe = dungtwig. And we all know what "dung" is. It turns out that Mistletoe is thought to be named after bird droppings on a branch. How romantic. Kiss under that!

Anyway, the plant itself, Phoradendron flavescens or Viscum album (depending on your location) for all of you biology-genus-species buffs out there, is a parasitic plant that lives on trees and kills them with their abundance. They're not totally evil though because animals do depend on them to help spread seeds and for food sources...but still...parasite plant. More info about mistletoe can be found at the mistletoe center.

The worst thing of all about that it can really kill you. If you ingest it, it can cause severe stomach cramps, diarrhea, DEATH, and "acute gastrointestinal problems" -Wikipedia. So don't eat it!

So in short, when you're sneaking a little smooch under that parasite with berries, don't forget just how spoOoOoOOoOoky mistletoe can be!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Andy Williams and Monster Bash Blog = BFFs

Andy Williams has Halloween in his heart year-round.

Which is why Monster Bash Blog and A-Will are teaming up for this Christmas/Halloween mashup.

What? You don't believe me?
The proof?

Here's your proOoOoOOoOof:

It's the most wonderful time of the year
With the kids jingle belling
And everyone telling you
"Be of good cheer"
It's the most wonderful time of the year

It's the hap-happiest season of all
With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings
When friends come to call
It's the hap- happiest season of all

There'll be parties for hosting
Marshmallows for toasting
And caroling out in the snow

There'll be scary ghost stories
And tales of the glories
of Christmases long, long ago

It's the most wonderful time of the year

There'll be much mistltoeing
And hearts will be glowing
When love ones are near

It's the most wonderful time of the year

There'll be parties for hosting
Marshmallows for toasting
And caroling out in the snow

There'll be scary ghost stories (2nd time)
And tales of the glories
of Christmases long, long ago

It's the most wonderful time of the year

There'll be much mistltoeing
And hearts will be glowing
When love ones are near

It's the most wonderful time
It's the most wonderful time
It's the most wonderful time
It's the most wonderful time
of the year

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

SpOoOOoOoky Snowmen!

The snowman.

Quite possibly the least offensive character in the entire Christmas cast of characters. I mean honestly, how can you not love that guy? Look at his cute little scarf and his wimpy stick arms...aww...carrot nose. I just want to give him a non-melting hug. What's so scary about him? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Well, unless you make him 8 feet tall...and give him vampire fangs...and put fake blood on him....still though, he'd still be pretty darn cute.

The Yeti.

Also known as the "Abominable Snowman". I feel that we're good enough friends that I can be honest with you, I thought up until writing this blog that it was "Abomidable" not "Abominable". Actually, I would have bet a significant amount of money on it. Not that I use the word enough in my everyday language, but I've said it. Let me just clarify for those of you who also though it was a "d" and not an "n": Merriam Webster dictionary claims that Abomidable is not a real world, and there is a definition for Abominable. So, now that's all cleared up for me.

If you don't like saying A.S. or Yeti, there's always "Bumble" if you're a Rudolph movie enthusiast. Did you know that Rudolph is from 1964? News to me, as well. This blog sure taught me a thing or two about our wintry friends and foes!

Well, Bumble isn't really scary...he's still kinda cute...but for the sake of the movie, he's spOooOoOoOoky with his chompy-metallic-esque teeth.

The Yeti is like an ape/monster that lives in the Himalayan region, hence why he's a "snowman"...I think.

And then, there are Wampas.

**Author's Side Note** Can I just say that I spent the good part of 2 days searching for this friggin' thing?! Clearly I'm not a Luke Skywalker / Star Wars enthusiast, but Jim is, and so I saw this thing in one of the movies one time and was in awe of how awesomely scary he is. I was shocked at how scary this snowguy is, and his arm gets cut off (spoiler! sorry!), and that was all I could remember. I searched Wikipedia's extensive list of Star Wars creatures...and I had no idea what I was looking for. P.S-have you ever seen those definitions? It's like a whole 'nother language. I felt like I didn't know how to read.

Finally, I caved and called Jim, knowing I'd have to tell him the gist of my blog. And within 2.5 seconds of me saying "Star Wars" and "arm gets cut off" Jim didn't even flinch when saying something about the planet Hoth and which movie he was in. I would have sworn he was reading from a book, but he just knows his Star Wars cold. So, thanks Jim for being an insane Star Wars fanatic and assisting Monster Bash Blog! **End Note**

Also, the Yeti can still be found today in popular culture, thanks Wiki! In movies, books, video games, theme park rides...

Which is my next and probably final point.

There's a ride in Animal Kingdom in Disney World that I went on in March, called Expedition Everest, where there's a runaway Yeti coming to get you while you're exploring Mt. Everest! The line to get into the ride is probably the coolest part because they put out all of these spOoOOooOoOky artifacts of Yeti remains and stuff from the missing campers that went ahead of other words: you won't make it back!! muahahahah!! (Just kidding, it's Disney after all). The ride itself wasn't scary, it was the build-up and the possibility of having to go on a huge drop backwards that had me screaming for mercy atop Disney Mt. Everest. But still, the Yeti was the star!

So in conclusion, while the snowman may not appear to be definitely can be...when it's Abomidnable!

Monday, December 1, 2008

Ho Ho Ho Horror!

Can you believe December is here already? I feel like it was only yesterday that I was camping out at Party City, trying to buy that bag of bones that Jim wouldn't let me get.

And here we are, in a winter wonderland (graveyard), replacing apple cider with hot cocoa and songs about ghosts and goblins with songs about Santa's elves and reindeer.

Even Monster Bash Blog can't help but feel a little good cheer towards the holidays...

Don't think for a second though that I haven't forgotten about all of the great things that February 13, 2009 will bring (Friday the 13th remake!!)

So, bring on those holidays!

Get out your Christmas Tree Costumes...

Decorate your house (p.s. this house is awesome I got it from Google Images...I appreciate it)

And get ready for the most magically spoOoOoOoOoky holiday season ever!