Monday, July 28, 2008

Worst Places to Be Killed in a Horror Movie

It's unfair to think that in every horror movie, the characters are going to be doing something really awesome when they die. On the flip side, they are usually doing something completely ridiculous or extraordinary.
I mean sure, some are doing something cool, but in some films....they are caught in the most uncompromising and downright embarassing positions to be killed in. It's over the top. I blush a little when I watch them for the sake of the character's dignity. Not kidding.

So here's a few that I find cringeworthy (and not due to blood and gore, but more sheer embarassment)**WARNING** some of these clips are nsfw (not suitable for work):

1. On the toilet/in the shower/in the bathroom in general: Horror Forum already beat me to this, but it's seriously embarassing. I just was reading about movie, "The Prowler" (1981) where one girl is impaled in the chest while showering with a PITCHFORK. figure that one out. But of course, one of my personal faves is from Friday the 13th: oooo baby:

This one from Final Destination was also pretty clever:

and of course, how cliche of me...

2. In the bedroom: The bedroom is supposed to be where you sleep, relax, wind down...or OOOO LA LA!!! these are just a few of the reasons why people getting killed in their very own beds is upsetting, sometimes embarassing. Of course, the most innocent is sweet, sleeping Johnny Depp:

And one of my other personal faves from Nightmare on Elm street, TINA!

This website provides a top 10 list of "best bedroom kills"...the freddy vs. jason one is so amazing....I had to post it again here:

3. Being this close to freedom. This happens all too often...they're going to make it?! right?! oh they're's gut wrenching. I tried to find a clip of that scene when Drew Barrymore, in the beginning of Scream, is 10 feet away from being saved....but nope....none of them were in English. sorry folks, but you know what i'm talking about right? I don't know if this makes you feel any better, but apparently, to keep Drew upset during that opening scene, he talked about animal cruelty. that would make me cry too.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies are infamous for making you think that someone will rescue them...someone will live at the end of this movie...and then...complete despair. X-Entertainment's review of it is outrageously good. read it.

Here's one scene from the newer TCM-The Beginning...where's she's SO CLOSE:

4. Being killed and nobody knows you're being killed. I know...another Scream movie. The beginning of Scream 2 shows Jada Pinkett-Smith getting killed during the screening of "Stab" and the audience thinks it's part of the movie! Awful!

or that scene in Urban Legend where the girl invites an internet friend over and he ends up killing her while the roommate sleeps next door! here's the clip: (warning: not really sfw):

I can't think of any others...what are your thoughts?

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

The Dark Knight Has Taken Over

I know...Batman isn't really scary. Well, I mean these newer ones by Christopher Nolan are pretty dark and sadistic, but, comic books don't really strike me as frightening or Halloween related. And's where I tie it together: people dress up like Batman characters for there!

But in any don't understand: I LOVE this movie. I've never felt this way about any other film I've viewed in my entire existence.

This past weekend, like the rest of America, I went to see The Dark Knight. We went on Saturday night, and it was JAMMED. We sat up front.
For 2.5 hours, my eyeballs were consumed with this piece of fantastic art.
I was a little sad when it ended.
So we went to see it again Sunday.

It's all I've been talking about. I find myself thinking about what Lucius Fox is doing right now

I'm devastated that Heath Ledger is dead and will never do another scene as the Joker, who blew my mind when I watched it. Have you seen him as the Joker?

Forget it...completely amazing.

Here's the trailer in case you haven't seen this, the greatest movie in the history of man, yet:

I can't even begin to express how much I love this movie. Don't even start with the "but it's 2 and a half hours" routine, because you know what? you don't even notice...that's how incredible it is.

The only weird part about the movie is that Maggie Gyllenhaal replaces soggy towel Katie Holmes to play Assistant D.A. Rachel Dawes....I mean, they both have brown hair...but....they're two different people. Oh well...

Let's go back to how awesome the Joker is.

This movie...the action scenes...the dialogue...minus Batman's "Val Venus" impression...

Go see it now. Go see it in IMAX if you can...and bring me with you. I L-O-V-E it.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

"Autumn State of Mind"

I had a blog all lined up for today, but I received an e-mail today from bffl, and avid Monster Bash Blog reader, Meg "Peg" Carlinos, and I had to rework MBB's itinerary just a bit...I feel that it's a great improvement, though.

In the aforementioned e-mail, there is word that July 16 officially begins Fall...not seasonally, per say...but it's true that summer goes downhill after July 4th. Sure, it's still hot out...but I hate to break it to you, Fall fashions are already on display. Good luck finding a bathing suit.

Soon, all that will be left will be a few red white and blue napkins, a half-chewed upon lei, and Party City will start speaking my language...the language...of horror.

I begin (alright fine, I've been thinking about this all along) thinking about the sights, sounds, smells, and tastes of everyone's favorite season: Autumn/Fall/Halloween.

Here's my list of what makes fall so INCREDIBLE:

1. Pumpkins (duh, read back, I love these little gourds)

2. Beautiful folliage. Leaves turn red, orange, and yellow...mmmmm mmmmm fall

3. Cooler weather. I get to wear my favorite hoodies until April/May again everyday!

4. Apple picking. Nothing beats going up to Masker's Orchard in NY and finding those Granny Smith's...where's "sauce lane" again?

5. Going to Salem!

To party with my Spooky friends:

6. The Beverages of Fall: Hot Cocoa & Apple Cider

7. Hayrides!
The best are at DePiero's in Montvale and Corrado's in Hackettstown.

8. Party City/Party Box. nothing is better to me than going to a party store and starting to shop for Monster Bash. The props/Decorations/animated stuff is so fun to walk through, I am almost choked up thinking about it.

9. Fall Baking. Cookies, pies, brownies....everything tastes better in the fall...want to know why? because we're we need to create warmth! it's science! ok, maybe not...but nothing beats being inside on a brisk autumn day and baking some delicious treats...and then watching a scary movie while drinking hot cocoa! (see number 6).

10. and of's no secret....

BASH 2008!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Ouija: It's Only a Game, Right?


The Ouija (Wee-Gee or Wee-Jah) Board. A way to sit down with your friends on a dark and stormy night and have a seance (accent over the "e") and contact the dead! Or a way for your friends to make up silly answers to your questions! Either way, what's it all about?

The Ouija Board consists of a flat surface with letters, numbers and other symbols printed on it. A planchette, or pointer, rolls over these letters/symbols/numbers when a question is asked to reveal the answer.

Some believe that the first "Ouija-like" object was found in China in 1200 B.C. called "fuji". Others think Pythagoras did it first. Others believe that both are wrong and that the first use of the Ouija started in the mid 19th century with the movement of Modern Spiritualism.

In the late 1800s the Ouija began to be sold as a novelty game. Today, Parker Brothers sells it as a party game.

There is an ongoing debate as to whether or not the Ouija is truly controlled by the spiritual world, or whether we move it ourselves, either knowingly or unknowingly. This website is skeptical about the Ouija, and believes that it is moving due to our own unconscious mind. You can also learn more about the history of the Ouija here. Also visit this website, which is dedicated to the Ouija.

There has always been a public interest in the heavily criticized and debated Ouija. According to my best friend, Wikipedia, Sylvia Plath wrote a poem about it when she and Ted Hughes would play with it. Kirk Hammett, the guitarist of Metallica, has a Ouija Board designed guitar that he plays with. Morrissey has a song called "Ouija Board". Amy Carter would use it in the Lincoln Bedroom to contact Lincoln, who is believed to haunt it. N.W.A. could even be seen using it in their videos.

Along the same lines as the Ouija could be the Magic 8 ball, which is used to tell fortunes. I use it to find out if I should call out of work or not..or if Jim and really likes me...or if I'm ever going to be a millionaire (it always tells me "not a chance").

This website is an online Ouija that you type in a question, put your mouse over it, and it answers. Now, I'm skeptical of it. It's kind of 50/50.

  • First I asked "what time is it?" and it went to "12" (it was 11:59, so I'll give it to it, it's a little ahead, but maybe it's spiritual clock is off).

  • Then I asked "How old am i?" and it went to "yes", which doesn't make sense.

  • Then I asked "does jim love me?" and it again went to "yes", so that was nice.

  • And finally, I asked it the true test: "do i love halloween?" and it moved over to "no", which is clearly incorrect. so, 2 out of 2 isn't too bad.

I also found another website with the same kind of online Ouija, and I asked the same questions, and here were its responses:

  • 5

  • "Cannot Say"

  • No

  • Yes
I don't know how I feel about the 2nd website...Either way, they're both pretty fun to ask questions to and see what it answers. And it's great if you're bored at work.

The Ouija also inspired a series of movies in 1986 (told you the 80's were great), 1993 and 1995, respectively: WitchBoard, Witchboard 2: The Devil's Doorway, and Witchboard 3: The Possession, that were complete garbage, yet strangely entertaining (Tawny Kitaen is in the first one, btw).

So, about this know, I'm not really sure. I have played it before, I think I even own one mother may have thrown it out, she hated it. I think anytime I have played it, one of my friends would move it and then it would turn into something ridiculous like "what color shoes does so-and-so wear?" or "why don't I make more money?" or "why did Jim name himself "Rusty Kage" when he wrestled?" (j/k about the last one, Jimbo). I don't think I really believe in the Ouija. At least, I don't believe in the Parker Bros. one. Maybe if I was trapped in a haunted house with an old wooden carved one, I'd be a believer.

Either way, the Ouija provided me with some great memories of laughing with my friends about who we were stuck marrying when we grew up. SpooOoOoOky!

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Maximum Overdrive Takes Road Rage to a SpoOOoOoOokier Level

Picture it: 1986.

Wow, the 80's were a great year for horror movies, weren't they?

Stephen King, who Monster Bash Blog seems to be giving an awful lot of props to lately, made this movie, loosely based on his short story "Trucks":
maximum overdrive

This was actually the first movie that Stephen King himself directed. He also called it a "moron movie", and after this, never wanted to direct again.

You can just imagine what it's about...or let IMDB fill you in:

A group of people try to survive when machines start to come alive and become homicidal.

Take a look at the theatrical trailer...Stephen King threatens to "Scare the hell out of you":

"Maximum King"

Now, I know what you're thinking...and now, 20-something years later, I can agree with you. Everyone agrees with you. This film fell into the category of "comedy horror".

But when I first watched this movie, I was terrified. I never wanted to drive ever.

Mainly because of this thing:
Maximum Overdrive

I mean look at it:
Maximum Overdrive

If that was coming at you, and you were 8 years old, wouldn't that terrify you?
Watch this:

He's just playing some baseball...why run him over?

And not for nothing, but there were quite a few cast members in this that make this movie even better if you ask me...first and foremost:
Emilio Estevez! What are you doing here?

and can you guess who this is?

I'll give you a hint:
lisa w/sax
(p.s. I hope you've been enjoying my extreme usage of "gifs" in the blog...I'm a big fan of cartoon/picture animation if you can't tell)

That's right! Yeardley Smith is in this movie!
Name another Yeardly Smith movie...or just say the name "Yeardley Smith" 3 times fast..I dare you!

I think it's also extremely important to note that the entire soundtrack for Maximum Overdrive (they refer to it as the "score" for the movie, as if it's an epic drama) is done by none other than AC/DC, Stephen King's fave band.

That's right...the ENTIRE FILM is filled with nothing but AC/DC songs.

Even the tagline is "Who Made Who" (which was released as the soundtrack itself-with Hells Bells being one single from it). Get it? Man made machine...or machine made man? deep.

Basically, the movie is about a comet that passes by earth and strange radiation released from it causes all of the machines of the world to go on a killing spree. Trucks at a truck stop trap a small group of people inside the truck stop and mayhem ensues. The end of the movie reveals that none other than ALIENS were behind the whole thing! seriously has everything that you need to know about this movie, and trust me, it is worth the read. For example, on set, the director of photography actually lost an eye during an accident with one of the machines. Also, the movie is produced by DeLaurentiis Entertainment Group...which is run by Dino DeLaurentiis who is Giada DeLaurentiis' dad...I love Everyday Italian!

I just connected Maximum Overdrive and Everyday Italian. This blog is complete.

If you haven't already ran out to your local video store or ordered this thing used for $5.65 at, you're out of your mind. you need to see this movie immediately!

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Trivia to Die For!

As you all already probably know, I'm a huge fan of the Friday the 13th series of distinguished films. Jason Voorhees is one of my closest bffls. I can't really talk about Jason without Freddy, so it's pretty safe to say that Jim and I are also great enthusiasts of the "Nightmare on Elm Street" Franchise. So anytime Jim or myself can get our little grubby hands on something related to good ol' Jason/Freddy, we jump on the chance. Here are a few examples:

Last Halloween, we ordered goblets...

a Freddy v. Jason Platter..

a Friday the 13th Bowl...

and a 6 foot tall Jason Voorhees figure (Pictured below with Mr. Peanut and Violently Bald Britney Spears):

Then of course, we've got the Friday the 13th Nintendo game (impossible to beat/play for more than 20 minutes without wanting to kill yourself):

and A Nightmare on Elm Street Nintendo game:
nightmare game screen

The Friday the 13th Nintendo game is especially great because it involves Jason chasing you around with a toothbrush to enforce good hygiene:

(just kidding...supposed to be an axe).

Anyway, we thought he had it all.....that is, until our pals came over with a gift....

KILLER TRIVIA!!! Jim loves nothing more than trivia games...and to combine his beloved trivia with Jason Voorhees and Freddy Kreuger?! forget it!

Why have I never heard of this at Monster Bash Blog? Why hadn't Amazon suggested it to me? It is a Collector's Limited Edition Item! This Website is out of stock of it, that's how rare this amazing game is. gave it a 7.0 out of 10...that's pretty good!

Let's check out what's inside....

some good instructions... (I love the font of Killer Trivia, btw)

The notepad that you count your victims on is amazing. It's a headless body with a thought bubble. There are also two separate card packets for both Jason and Freddy, and one set of cards that have questions about Freddy vs. Jason. Inside are like 300 cards with trivia questions, and a "coroner's report" set of cards with EVERY SINGLE victim and how they died. My favorite is the one in Jason X where the girl gets her face remember that one, I had it on here:
Jason X

The die also has little bodies on it so you can determine how many "bodies" you're going for- 1-5. The more bodies, the harder the question. The key to the game is to get the most bodies, which is consistent with both films, so I appreciate that.

So basically, you are doing trivia for 10 Jason films, 7 Freddy films, and Freddy vs. Jason. That's alot of movie action!

This game is out control awesome for horror movie fans everywhere. Get together and play it with some friends....who knows what could happen!

Friday the 13th

Friday, July 4, 2008

Happy 4th of GHOULEYE!

Just wanted to give you all an update that on Wednesday, July 2nd, I custom designed, and ordered the Monster Bash 2008 invitations. They will not only reveal the date/time/magic of monster bash, they will also reveal...THE THEME of Monster Bash 2008. Any ideas yet? Starting in September, maybe end of August, I will be dropping hints. so sleep with one eye open.

Someone at work the other day said to me that I should refer to "July" as "Ghouleye"...and I can't really help but agree. Ghouleye is brilliant! I already refer to potatoes as "ghostatoes" as in "smashed ghostatoes" (mashed potatoes) so why wouldn't Ghouleye already be in my vocabulary?

I dare you to use Ghouleye at least once today instead of July. DO IT!

There really aren't too many things scary about the 4th of Ghouleye. Fireworks, when they first begin, can be scary because they're loud and they set car alarms off so you feel like you're involved in a criminal situation, but then they're big and pretty and colorful so they're not really that scary.
Nope, not scary at all. But definitely enjoyable!

Uncle Sam, on the other hand, kind of looks scary. Now, stop that. I'm very American. I'm just saying that the picture is a little...well...frightening.
uncle sam
he's pointing RIGHT AT YOU. He wants YOU to do something for him. Now granted, he's wearing a hat with little stars on it and a red bowtie...but...

what if we made him look like a ZOMBIE! Then what would he want from you? FLESH.

or a creepy old clown man! I don't know what he wants me for, but I'm not sticking around to find out! I'm running away ahhh!!!

or the...undead (not zombie, just undead)! He wants me...DEAD! AHHH!!!

now he's scary!!

I guess it's pretty safe to say that something about an eccentric older man is scary.

Remember Cain in Poltergeist?

or Ralph from the Original Friday the 13th:

someone even made a tribute to him, that's how influential he is on horror:

And of course, Grandpa from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (I couldn't find a good picture so go to the link to see him).

Anyways, I'm off on a tangent, but bascially, Today isn't a SpOOoOoOoOoky day, per say, but we sure as hell can make it one!

Happy 4th of Ghouleye, Monster Bashers!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Scary Jul-Eye

So, it's July. Summer is full-steam ahead. But you know what else July brings besides Summer magic? The 4 month mark before...OCTOBER!!!
Skull Eyes Blinking

I just want you all to know that I have been very busy in the pre-planning stages of Monster Bash 2008. I will be posting soon about why Monster Bash 2008 is so extraordinarily special this year and why you should all be there with bells and fangs hang in there and stay spooOoOooOoky!

Now, Let's talk about eyes
blinking II

When I was in my Nintendo NES hayday (2 weeks ago), I always enjoyed Castlevania.CV2 gameplay 2

Moreso, Simon's Quest.

Actually, I hate Simon's Quest. I can't beat it. ever. The Angry Video Game Nerd explained it best (sorry for the foul lang....but i agree):

but there's one part that creeps me out the most, even for a video game...that part when it's night time and you're jumping over this moving...lava...water? and there are floating EYES coming after you!
Floating Eye of Death Stencil
eyes by themselves in someone's face aren't usually spoOoOoOky, unless they're wearing white or red contacts I guess....but....floating eyes are definitely spoooOoOoOoky!

There are also movies made solely based around scariness of eyes (or just have the word "eye" in the title)...

1. Eye for an Eye. Ok, it's not really a "horror" movie...but if you're a girl, or you have daughters....the beginning part is realistically scary. Kiefer Sutherland also scared the bejeebas out of me. This movie is amazing. see it anyway.

2. The Eye. Wasn't this Jessica Alba flick the same as that movie with Madeline Stowe? Blink?

3. The Hills have Eyes. Ok, not about eyes, but yikes. mutants after years of nuclear testing.

4. Jeepers Creepers. The monster takes out eyes for goodness sake! where'd you get those peepers?

5. Red Eye. Ok fine it's not about eyes at all...but, it's in the title. so there.

6. Stephen King's Cat's Eye. meeeow

7. See No Evil. Seriously, this movie sucked. I had to go see it because Jim loves wrestlers in movies.

8. The Crawling Eye. Perhaps the best movie idea ever created: tagline: A man dissolves...and out of the oozing mist comes the hungry eye, slave to the demon brain

9. The Killing Eye. Wow.

10. The Eye Creatures. Someone really loves me up there...because this movie is about Alien Eye Creatures invading a town.

Anyway, you get the picture. July was a hard month to think of something spoOoOoktacular for...keep your EYES open for some Halloween fun coming your way this month! muahahahahaha!

Pumpkin blinking eyesOnly 121 days until Halloween!Pumpkin blinking eyes