Thursday, May 29, 2008

Best Movie Deaths

Maxim has a Top 10 Best Movie Deaths and I have to say, I like the way it's done.

I'm going to put up some of my favorites, which may or may not include good ol' Maxim's list:

Zombi (1979) "Say Goodbye to Your Eye"

Who doesn't appreciate this?

Jason X (2001) "Icy Cool" I agree with Maxim, Jason is Numero Uno.

instant replay!

jason x

***AUTHOR'S NOTE: While we're on the subject of my BFFL Jason, This website put together an AMAZING countdown of Jason's top 10 best kills. I teared up when i saw it. ENJOY IT!***

jason sleeping bag

Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) "The Death of Glenn"

I personally like the Glenn and a miscellaneous TV produce 60,000,000 gallons of blood.

Evil Dead (1983) "Unplug him"

ok, not really a "death scene" per say, but still pretty gory. Maxim, good choice on this one.

Dead Alive (1992) "Party's Over"

Maxim and I agree yet again.

Day of the Dead (1985) "Bub's got a Gun"

Maxim and I totally agree on this one. This scene is classic.

Jaws (1975) "Jaws vs. Quint"

Jaws always wins.

Halloween (Rob Zombie Remake 2007)"Please don't hurt me"

I know, it's not the original, but this scene was so brutal in the theater we all cringed.

And maybe my favorite Michael Myers scene of all time:


Final Destination (2000)"AHHHHHHHHH"

tied with Final Destination 2 (2003):

These made me never want to fly ever again...or drive

Anyways, what are your favorite movie moments? I know, most of mine were borrowed lovingly from Maxim's list...but I added a few extra. SpoOoOoOky!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Serial Killers are Scary

Everytime E! THS Investigates, or A&E does something about Serial Killers, I find myself glued to the tv.

Serial Killers are friggin scary...because they are really killing multiple people (not in movies...unless there are movies made about them) in usually strange and disturbing ways that no normal-minded human being could find rational...and because they, once again, are seriously 150% insane.

Many of them also appear to lead "normal" lives so that nobody suspects their sick and sadistic habits...making them ultimately more terrifying.

Wikipedia, who never lets me down, actually made a list of serial killers by the number of people that were killed or by the country.

I'm going to give a rundown of the most well-known serial killers (in my opinion of course)


Ted Bundy - This guy was notorious throughout the mid to late 1970's. He confessed to killing 30 victims, although the total could be much higher. according to my pal wikipedia, he "engaged in rape and necrophilia" YIKES. He killed women ranging from ages 12-26, but usually bludgeoning them and then assaulting them. he also treated the courts as a joke, he represented himself as the defense lawyer, and he proposed to some crazy woman (Carol Ann Boone) that fell in love with him. They were married at his trial where he was sentenced to death for killing a 12 year old girl. Wonder what the honeymoon was like? You can read a little more about Ted Bundy's early life here and here, if you'd like.

Jeffrey Dahmer - If you haven't heard of Dahmer, I don't know what to say. He's super famous, for eating people. He was believed to have murdered 17 people from 1978 to 1991, mainly males. He averaged murdering one person each week, in extremely horrific ways, like mutilation and dismemberment. He also kept select body parts as souveniers in acid-filled vats. Apparently, he also was an alcoholic, and liked to dissect animals at a young age. He was discharged from the military due to excessive drinking. His killing spree is so disgusting that I can't even repeat it, just go to wikipedia and read it or go here, or here. He ended up being found guilty and sentenced to 957 years in prison, but wouldn't end up serving them all. According to the Serial Killer Database, he was killed by another inmate who beat him to death with a weight from the weight room.

Ed Gein - Ed Gein was ultimately the inspiration behind Leatherface in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, as well as Buffalo Bill in The Silence of the Lambs. He also is believed to have inspired the Norman Bates character in Psycho. While he supposedly only killed 2 people (i know, "only" isn't the greatest word, but it's significantly less than the others), he was known to exhume bodies and craft things out of the remains. He was very attached, in an unhealthy way to his mother, who, through strong religious beliefs, demanded that Ed not have friends, and taught that women were evil. Mysteriously, his brother, who went against his mother's beliefs, was killed in a fire, and once his father died, all that was left was Ed and his mother. Once his mother died, Ed blocked off all rooms that she used, and began going to the graveyard late at night to dig up bodies. At the time of his arrest, he had numerous body parts that acted as "furniture". He also was rumored to have wanted to change his gender, and had created a "woman suit" that he would wear. Gein was so insane that he was found not guilty by reason of insanity TWICE and spent the rest of his life in a hospital.

Henry Lee Lucas - I only heard about Lucas when I watched the movie Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer with Michael Rooker. He had killed about 600 people from 1978 to 1983. His first murder was killing his own mother by stabbing her. He was sentenced to jail, and released after 10 years. Lucas's murders caused an array of disagreements between law enforcement. Through his calculated "confessions" people were confused as to whether or not he was guilty or innocent. He ended up dying in 2001 in jail of heart failure. Just an FYI, he was also sentenced to death, but everyone's good buddy George W. Bush commuted his sentence to a life sentence.

Dennis Rader - This guy was featured on E!'s THS Investigates, and he literally gave me the creeps. His confessions to the judge sounded as though he was reading off a grocery list. He's better known as the "BTK Killer" , named after his method of killing-Binding, Torturing, and Killing. I truly believe if they ever made a movie about the guy, they should get Jack Nicholson to play him. The bulk of his killings take place in Wichita Kansas. What's scariest about BTK is that he really truly seemed like a regular guy. He worked in his church, he was married and had a family...his neighbors had no idea. That's what makes him one of the scariest serial killers, he could be your neighbor. He was sentenced to 175 years without any parole.

Jack the Ripper - Jack the Ripper is one of the two serial killers on this list that have never been identified. Perhaps arguably the most well-known and most notorious of all serial killers, JTR terrorized London for the greater part of the late 19th century. His victims were largely prostitutes, as the main location was the run-down Whitechapel area of London. His main method was strangulation, then slitting the throat and thereafter mutiliation (gross stuff, I know) in the late hours of night or very early morning. There were letters taunting the police sent to Scotland Yard, one of which including a preserved kidney. Because of so many copycat murders, Jack the Ripper has almost taken on a folklore kind of appeal. To this day, no person or persons have been pointed out as Jack the Ripper.

The Zodiac Killer - The 2nd on this list that is merely an alias with no suspect. The Zodiac Killer was prevalent in the late 1960's in Northern California. Preying on young couples as opposed to prostitutes, The Zodiac used the media to immortalize its message and gain fame through sending taunting cryptographs (seen above). While nobody has ever been convicted of the murders, the case remains open as of 2007, and as depicted in the David Fincher movie Zodiac, Arthur Leigh Allen was pointed as a prime suspect.

John Wayne Gacy - I saved this guy for last because frankly, he scares the shit out of me. First of all, he dresses like a deranged clown. look at half of that picture. I'm going to have nightmares. He was also known as "the Killer Clown". That's enough horror for me. John Wayne Gacy was convicted of the rape and murder of over 33 men and boys during the course of 6 years (1972-1978). He would lure the boys to his car by using drugs as a decoy and the boys, ranging from 14-21 would be tortured, raped, killed, and then stored in his basement until they had rotted too much that they smelled. Some of the victims were so decayed, they could not be identified (the pictures of the unidentifed and computer reconstructed on Wikipedia are really, really creepy). Gacy was eventually captured, and was not at all remorseful in court. He joked that he was "running a cemetary without a license" and that all 33 deaths were by erotic asphyxia. He was put to death and his last words were reportedly "kiss my ass". Prior to his death, he began making oil paintings which were sold after his death. some were put on band's such as G.G. Allin's and Cradle of Filth's albums. Others were bought by people just to burn them.

As horrible and frightening serial killers are, people are still fascinated by the motives, and what goes on inside their heads.

And that's my list. Next blog will be more fun and fantastically scary, I promise!

Monday, May 26, 2008

Autopsy on HBO

Since Unsolved Mysteries was the past in spOoOoOky tv, let's talk about the present/future of awesomely horrific and frighteningly informative television. It's a little show that's on HBO every now and then: on random Sunday mid-mornings, and late, late at night....Autopsy!

Autopsy presents murders and the like in such a creepy, this-is-happening-down-the-street kind of way that makes me jump out of my skin when it's on.
This show also makes average schmoes like me want to dive right in and become forensic pathologists at the very same time.

Autopsy is a documentary-based tv show that premiered in 2006 and follows the work of famed forensic pathologist powerhouse, Dr. Michael Baden,

in his genius discoveries and mystery solving that leave me and the rest of planet Earth shocked and in awe of his medical prowess (can I say "prowess" for a guy?)

You may recognize some of his work:

-The OJ Simpson Trial
-The Lisa McPherson case (involving the ridiculously creepy Scientology)
-John Belushi's Death
-Sid and Nancy's deaths
-the Remains of Tzar Nicholas of Russia and his royal family

he also gave advice in the Scott Peterson trial, as well as in the Terry Schiavo case. The man's been places. He's been performing autopsies for over 30 years...I believe him. When he says something about the type of stomach contents pertaining to the place that the victim died, I believe it.

He's also such a nice guy that he allows for some very inciteful forensic scientist Q&A.

But, perhaps my personal favorite person in Autopsy, though, is the narrator. It took me 15 minutes to find her name: Marlene Sanders.

First of all, I didn't know this, but she was the first woman to go over and cover the Vietnam War. She's a journalist, but what I best know her for, is the creepy lady that says "Dr. Bah-den" and other creepy words while she narrates things. I like to envision her ordering a pizza and talking in her narrator voice. she's my hero.

Her and "the Bahd" make this show my absolute favorite. Everytime it is on HBO, no matter how many times I've seen it, I'll watch it over, and over, and over, and over again.

The best cases on the show, at least in Monster Bash's opinion, are the following (I'm going to countdown to make it more dramatic):

The Tinning Deaths: MaryBeth Tinning had 9 of her children die over the course of 14 years (1972-1985), 8 of them biologically hers, and one adopted child. Everyone thought by a "death gene" or SIDS, but Baden cracked the case. This episode was in the first installment of Autopsy-Confessions of a Medical Examiner. Tinning is currently serving out her sentence in New York and was denied parole in March 2007.

Funhouse Dummy: This one was about a funhouse dummy, that was really a corpse. The mummified body of Elmer McCurdy was found in a California funhouse when a director filming a show in the funhouse didn't like the way the dummy was hanging and asked someone to move him. When they when to move the dummy, the arm broke off exposing human bone. Imagine seeing that the next time you're in a haunted house and you bump into one of those..."dummies". This was in the 2nd episode: Voices from the Dead.

The Eyeball Killer: This was in episode 5: Dead Men Do Tell Tales. In the 1990's dead prostitutes were turning up with their eyeballs removed. The hair and fibers on the victims linked the deaths to this guy, Charlie Albright, who was convicted, and while he won't admit to the crime, he draws creepy pictures of eyeballs on his cell all day long. Guilty much?

The Robert Curley Case: This was also in episode 5. It reminds me of an awesome lifetime movie. Robert Curley was overseeing a Chemical Laboratory when he suddenly became ill and died. The cause of death was determined to be Thallium. Guess what? the lab had no thallium...yet his wife and daughter were also shown to have small amounts of the chemical. Through testing the different lengths of Curley's hair, forensic scientists were able to prove that the poisoning had been happening over and extended period of time. So, Who-Done-It? You're right: Curley's wife. Guess why- $$$.

The Love Bird: This was a segment in episode 11: Sex, Lies, and Murder. It was about a man named Kevin Butler, who was killed in his home, along with his white-crested Cockatoo, named Bird (after Larry Bird) on Christmas Eve 2001. The reason why I chose this to make the list was that an autopsy was done on the bird and they found the DNA of the killer, because Bird loyally tried to defend his owner by pecking at the murderer. Because of Bird's courage, the killer was convicted. It was kind of endearing in a sad way. But hey, it just goes to show you-treat your pets right!

Joan Bent: This one was from the first episode, and was about a woman who disappeared in 1986 and was found dead and frozen in the trunk of her car. The husband claimed that she had eaten dinner at 4:30 pm and then left for work at 6:30 pm. Sounds reasonable, right? Why'd I choose this one anyway? Here's why...Dr. Baden, who, by examining her STOMACH CONTENTS (see picture to the left), determines that she had died within 30 minutes of eating. The husband ends up confessing. The wife was going to divorce him, and he couldn't handle it. What did we learn? Don't mess with M.B., fool.
There was another one that Dr. Baden examined about a girl that had run away from home and disappeared. She turned up dead, and once again, the Bads looks at her stomach contents and the type of french fries she ate right before dying were only cut that way at this specific diner and that's how they found the killer. the tummy doesn't lie.

How Did Terrie Petrie's Babies Die? This one was one of those on the "Ask Dr. Baden" special (episode 10). I picked this one, because, well, it's pretty heart-wrenching. Petrie had 4 children, and three of them died. I at first though this was another Tinning case. She was being interrogated and basically blamed for the deaths, so she wrote to Dr. Baden to help her find out why all of her babies, except her oldest that was 7, were dying. Dr. Baden took 5 months to perform testing, and then he aired his discussion with her, in one of the saddest and most uncomfortable-to-watch episodes ever. He gives her the 4 possibilities: 1. Genetic Disorder, 2. SIDS, 3. accidental roll-over, and 4. homicide.

I'll give you a hint, it's number 3. She would sleep with the babies in bed with her, and accidentally rolled over and suffocated all three babies. lesson? put the baby in a crib.

A Lasting Impression: I also like to refer to this one as "sweet, sweet justice". So basically, in 1994, A woman went for a walk in rural Kansas, and was mowed down by a car. She suffered major injuries and could not remember anything about the accident. Fortunately, she was wearing black stretch pants that actually imprinted the expiration date and the first two digits of the Missouri license plate. From this evidence, they were able to find the car and convict the person that hit her and sped off. The woman ended up recovering. I love love love this one because the guy probably thought he was free, and then HA HA HA-you're a pair of PANTS.

Pure Evil: This was in episode 8: Dead Giveway. It was about a couple who had just gotten engaged, and it was I believe Christmas Eve. They were drinking with the girl's 15 year old sister, and by the morning, the 15 year old was dead-presumably by choking on her own vomit after drinking too much. The following year, the two got married, and a string of rapes-turned-murders began. The guy ends up being arrested, but then you also find out that the wife was also in on it. What makes this case even MORE insane, is that the girl DRESSES up like the little sister as a turn-on and she helped in both raping and killing the sister. Horrifying!

The Strange Obsession of Dr. Carl Von Cosel: AKA the GREATEST story ever on the show. This was in episode 6 : Secrets of the Dead. It's from 1934, when this doctor was working at a hospital helping people with tuberculosis (then incurable). He ended up falling in love with a 22 year old girl, and when she died, built her a mausoleum, and visited it every night. Then it gets even creepier...he moves the corpse to his home, and when the sister accosts it, it looks like a "wax dummy". Upon further investigation, we find that it is really the girl, preserved with embalming fluid, piano wire, glass eyes, and perfume to keep her from smelling. He also inserted a tube to, you his love for her physically? I guess you could say?...Anyway, The sister takes the girl's body and buries her in a secret location. What happens to the doctor? He creates a life-sized dummy with a death mask he made from the girl and lived with it until he died. This was the all-time creepiest and most insane segment ever. Thank you Jim for reminding me about it in my previous post about mummies!

In conclusion, Autopsy is my favorite show on Earth. Hopefully now, it's yours too.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Unsolved Mysteries

I know, blast from the past, right?

Remember getting slightly nervous when you first heard Robert Stack's voice as he creepily walked through a morgue/graveyard/church/haunted house/police station?
Remember the theme song?:

I know, it's spOoOoOoky!

Unsolved Mysteries terrified me through the 90's. I used to watch it with my cousins and then we'd make up our own unsolved mysteries that we "heard about from _____(insert name here)" or "heard on the news". I was a believer. One IMDB review calls it one of the"creepiest shows ever"and i agree wholeheartedly.

And who could forget this amazing special effects:


and of course, the old time photos:

U.M. was separated into scary categories, allowing it to reach out to every type of audience:
-Murders / Robberies
-Aliens (least favorite)
-Missing Persons
-Religious / Historical Things (Angels, Crying statues, War mysteries, mysterious church related stories)

in my tireless search of my beloved U.M., i found a myspace page...named unsolved mysteries...but it really a musical group.

but what really happened to our beloved R. Stack and his creepy storytelling? Rest assured, Monster Bash readers, U.M. is alive and well in our hearts, and on Lifetime.

Rumor also has it that Spike TV will take over this year airing it, and adding some new episodes! According to

Spike TV, 2008-
According to Broadcasting & Cable,
HBO Distribution is planning on bringing back Unsolved Mysteries when the cable channel Lifetime contract expires in 2008. The show would feature a new set, same music, recaps on old cases, as well as new cases, and a new host. The show will be on SpikeTV in October 2008 for 5 years and 175 episodes, [3] featuring the same theme music, and hosted by actor Dennis Farina.

grab a buddy and maybe turn the lights out?

or maybe not.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Mummy-Morial Day

Sorry for my lack of all-things-scary this past week. Right now, my Job is competing with Halloween for scariest thing on Earth.

Now, let's talk about Mummies.

SpoOoOoky vs. not SpoOoOoky

I really feel like that Brandon Fraser movie tarnished just how scary mummies should be.
And then of course, some genius decided to make a film about a kung fu mummy, that includes such endearing characters as "motel hooker" and "boob boxin' chick".

but in all honesty, the idea of preserving a corpse...and that maybe that said corpse will return looking creepily embalmed, perhaps in a zombie-esque state, sounds kind of spoOoOoOky to me!
I mean, just look at this and tell me it doesn't creep you out:

alive? dead? who knows!

but why can't mummies come off as scary in movies? Honestly, If I had to choose between anything vs. mummy in a movie, I'd always choose the opponent...unless the opponent was a butterfly, or a stick of gum.

Who could help me find the answer?

no need to get out your magnifying glass...that's a screen shot of me asking jeeves "why aren't mummies scary?" and you know his answer? "Mummy Scary" and that I can save on 50,000+ costumes at Mummy Scary!

Maybe it's their fragility? Could it be that they have been preserved for so many hundreds of years that they'll just crumble and blow away?

I can tell you one scary mummy movie was in Tales from the Darkside...remember that one? where the kid (Matthew Lawrence) tells the witch (Debbie Harry, btw) 3 horror stories while she prepares to cook him in the oven? what a great one! anyway, the first movie was called "Lot 249" based on an Arthur Conan Doyle short story. It's about a mummy wreaking all kinds of mischief. Julianne Moore and Christian Slater are in it. Oh, and like every other movie ever made, Steve Buscemi is also in it. Seriously, a star studded cast for a movie that is considered the 3rd installment of Creepshow.

I don't know the verdict on this one...Mummies: Scary or not? You decide!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Monsters HD

A little over a year ago, my parents decided that they wanted to get a GIGANTIC tv. Why? Just because. I wasn't really surprised with this decision, and I wasn't really expecting it to be a long-lasting one, either.

My rents love to buy and return in some sort of sick, vicious-for-me, cycle. They'll buy one thing...keep it for a week...and then find just cause to return it. Examples: EZPass (name another person, I dare you), Optimum Online, Coffee makers, Computers, Printers, Industrial Sized Paper shredders...etc etc. I'd continue, but that would be too scary for this blog.

Anyways, I was reluctant to be excited. "It'll be returned by next Monday" I cynically thought to myself...

but there it sits. Too big for my living room. Massive.

And best of all: HD capable.

the only problem: they never put it ON HD. it remains regular...unless you reprogram it every...single...time.

so, it only really gets changed over to HD for sports.

and the food network.

but over the past few weeks, I've found a new HD love: Monsters HD.


sometimes, sure, you get a stinker.

but overall, I'm pleased with it.

I'm especially proud that someone out there aside from me feels it is important to dedicate an ENTIRE channel to the magic of horror movies.

Channel 777: I salute you and your cause.

Thanks to Monsters HD, I finally was able to see movies that I have heard of, but wasn't really interested in enough to rent:

Sleepaway Camp: The more I think about, the more I love this movie. For 1983, it was way beyond its time. You need to see the ending to this, if you haven't already...the most shocking on earth.

Alone in the Dark: This movie has some pretty big names in it...especially my BFF Donald Pleasence (a la Halloween). It's also really a fun movie to watch. check it out...on 777.

Dead Alive: ok fine, I actually had seen this one before...but who cares! seeing it on Monsters HD made it even BETTER! and if you didn't already know, Peter Jackson directed it...yes, I'm serious.

Witchboard: Tawny Kitaen is in this starring as maybe the worst actress in the universe. This movie is outrageous, please watch it.

Not to mention that 2 weeks ago, they did a Friday the 13th marathon...I considered calling out of work just to watch it, but then remembered that Jim had the box set.

I also like that during commercials, they show you a sneak peak of the upcoming movie called "See the best parts" and this ultimately determines whether or not I'm going to watch it.

You can also see what's playing for the month (PDF)

Anyways, I think I've made my point. Monsters HD is your personalized Halloween Channel. I love it.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Bruise Cruise never ceases to amaze me. Today, in my search of all-things-gore n' more...I found that Wikipedia has a complete list of all horror films ever made..separated by decade. Amazing.
Since summer is so close I can almost touch it, I was thinking about my favorite summer/life past-time (besides halloween of course): Vacations!

But to get more specific...Cruises.

I love cruises.

but wait, this is supposed to be a spoOoOoOoOoky blog! What's so scary about cruising (besides the ship sinking into a sea of sharks)?

So, that has been my venture:

trying to compile a list of horror movies that revolve around going on a cruise.

I then began to realize how difficult this would be..because nowhere on the web does it make it easy on me.

I searched "Horror Ship" and got "Did you mean Little Shop of Horrors?"


But alas, I'm a glutton for's make this a game...I'll name as many as I can...and you fine MB readers add on whatever you can think of (that involves cruises/boats/vacationing at sea). Deal? ok! so without further ado:

Ok...I think that's a good start...what have you got?

Thursday, May 1, 2008

May Mayhem

So we've reached the halfway point...we're a mere 6 months away from the greatest time of year...182 short days away!

Since we're such great spoOoOoOky friends, I figured I'd let you in on a little f.y.eye about me-there is actually one thing about horror that i don't like.

I am really turned off by realistic horror.

you know what I mean: the kind of horror where you watch a death scene, and are questioning if what you just watched was real or not.

I like off the wall, ridiculous, completely unrealistic horror...except movies about sharks. those I like. I'm fascinated by sharks. but I've already written about my love/fear of sharks...I'm talking about movies that make it look like someone really got killed.

that's not fun for me. that actually makes me unhappy.

I mean, I love blood and guts and gore...but not when I am convinced that it's really happening.

and I know what you're thinking: I'm a wimp.

and you're right. I don't like that type of horror.

Here's my top 3 movies that I am not interested in seeing again/at all because, frankly, they make me want to barf in a bad way (WARNING: NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART AND DEF. NOT FOR KIDS-a.k.a. me):

1. The "Saw" franchise.
I saw the first one-I love Cary what kind of a killer is that? I guess the first one was alright...but come on...4 sequels? Only Michael, Jason, Freddy, and Leatherface are allowed. sorry buddy. This scene made me I blame her? I dunno. I guess in this situation probably not. It definitely makes me wonder what Jim would do in this situation...

p.s. someone actually commented and said that she should have "carefully dissected" his stomach...I laughed out lout at that.

2. The "Hostel" franchise.
Ok. I saw the first one. All I remember is me repeating "oh my" or "i'm going to be sick" or "i'm going to throw up". It literally made me upset. Eli, I saw Cabin Fever and secretly loved it because it was so silly...but Hostel? hostel made me feel unhappy with foreign travel. The torture scenes seriously feel so real and excrutiating....ugh...i'm getting queasy thinking about it. This scene makes me almost barf just watching it. I actually couldn't watch the whole thing before putting it in here. the character even barfs...that's how upsetting this is:

the ending though for Hostel...was great. This was the only thing that made me feel better...REVENGE!!!:

and then they made a sequel...aka "Hostel with girls this time" and it looked equally as upsetting. I never even dared:

3. Cannibal Holocaust.
Ok, I had to look up to make sure it wasn't real. It's kind of the original "Blair Witch" of gruesome-is-it-real-or-isn't-it footage shooting. Seriously, It tops almost every modern list for death scenes. it is almost unbearable to look at. I also just found out that they're doing a remake for next year...gross. Here's the original trailer:

Sorry that this was such a visually offensive way to start May off...I hope you're not too nauseous for the magic of the Halloween season!