Thursday, May 26, 2011

Don't Be Afraid to Exorcist III

Ah, the Exorcist.

Let's be honest, the Exorcist is one of the greatest horror films of all time.  Now, I've never seen part 2, but from what I've heard, it was pure garbage.  Thanks to my good friend Netflix, The Exorcist III had magically made its way to the top of my queue and arrived at my house last night.  At first, I was worried for The Exorcist III, because the original is such a huge act to follow and part 2 was a huge flop...but at the same time I was hopeful, because William Peter Blatty, who wrote the novel and screenplay for the original, was at the helm for part III.  Here's a trailer:

The Exorcist III is based on the sequel novel to the original Exorcist, called Legion

Before I had seen it, I had only one question : Is it going to be exactly the same movie as the Exorcist?

I mean, how many different movies can be made about exorcisms...there's only so many ways they can go, right?

But I can say with confidence, the answer is a surprising : No.

What I really liked about the movie is that it tips its hat to the original, and gives you little tidbits that tie them both together, but other than that, it's its own film.

Basically, the movie takes place 15 years since the death of Damian Karras.  Father Dyer, who had given Karras his last rights in the original, and the police lieutenant who was there, go to see the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" on the anniversary of Karras's death every year.  Dyer and the lieutenant Kinderman, are good friends and have almost an odd couple-esque type of banter.

Kinderman has been investigating the crimes of the Gemini Killer, who was a notorious serial killer who was supposedly dead.  However due to a recent string of murders that feature the Gemini Killer's unique MO, Kinderman begins to doubt that the Gemini Killer is truly dead.  The crimes are also religiously driven, which some deaths being crucifixions or having to do with religious figures....and also people who's names begin with a "K".
The deaths are also pretty gruesomely described, however very little gore is really seen.
This part especially creeped me out:

Kinderman, perplexed by all of this, finds out that Father Dyer is in the hospital and makes a stop to visit him...shortly after, he finds out that Father Dyer is murdered, also in the same manner as The Gemini Killer's victims. Including the double "L" at the end of words
How did the killer know that that was a movie they both saw together?!

The hospital then gets put into a lockdown, because as Kinderman reveals, only a small select few knew the real MO of the Gemini Killer, and not the one released to the press as a way to weed out the fakes.

While the hospital is in lockdown, Kinderman is told that a patient in the psych ward room 11, "Patient X", has no identity, and was found 15 years ago near the scene of Karras's death, and claims he is the Gemini Killer. What shocks Kinderman the most is that the patient looks identical to Damian Karras:

What are the chances?! This patient X, goes back and forth between looking like Karras and then looking like the real Gemini Killer, and describes killing all of his victims. It turns out he uses the senile dementia patients in the hospital to carry out his deeds...

like this one...

Another priest, Father Morning, comes in to save the day and perform an Exorcism, but it goes horribly wrong and he almost dies. But along with Kinderman, they are able to save Karras's soul and give him a proper burial.

There were a few weirdo this one....

I don't know about you, but I don't want to be in a heaven where Fabio isn't:

how'd Fabio get in there and get such primo camera time?

Anyway, I actually really enjoyed this movie. I mean, it wasn't gory or bloody, but it was like a cool CSI episode mixed in with a supernatural horror movie. If you were scarred from The Exorcist II: The Heretic, I would say don't be afraid to give Exorcist III a shot...

Lastly, I just wanted to leave you with this...BIGGEST EXORCIST III FAN EVER:

Monday, May 9, 2011

I Spit On Your Grave (remake)...I love that title

Seriously, I do. I couldn't even think of a witty remark for it. The title is so great all by itself.

So, at work, everyone knows my love of Halloween. One of my coworkers had recommended "I Spit on Your Grave" (the remake) and said it was great. I decided to trust and see for myself.

Now, I've never seen the original. I know, shame on me. I really should see the original because originals are usually superior to the remakes. Unless you're the new Batman reboot, which is arguably the greatest thing ever (The Dark Knight holds the key to my heart).

Anyways, Let's get started! But first...

Dear spoiler-hater,

Don't hate - appreciate!

Sincerely yours,
MB Blog

I started watching it and immediately it reminded me of "The Last House on the Left".  The first half of the movie I found pretty difficult to starts out pretty slow, a girl moves out to the country side to write a book or something...she runs into some creepy local trash bags...and then it becomes a grisly rape festival.

Even the sheriff gets in on the action...yikes.

finally, she manages to stumble away and fall into the water where the rapists presume she's dead.

But she isn't!

The rest of the movie is GREAT. It's pure revenge and you are rooting for her to get the bad guys...

And the death/torture scenes for these bad guys are in-cred-ible.

Ok so first there's this guy, the "videographer":

Recognize him?  He was one of the characters in that movie "Bully" which was super weird and kind of sad.  She ties him to the tree so that he's choking, hooks his eyelids open, rubs fish juice on him, and then birds eat his eyes...

Then there's this guy:

He's suspended over a tub filled with lye and has to hold himself up to avoid falling in...

Then there's the leader of the pack of idiots:

he ends up getting tied up, gagged, and losing an important appendage which gets shoved in his mouth via hedge clippers...

Finally the sheriff:

He ends up with a shotgun shoved where the sun doesn't shine...the trigger is tied to one of the other guys, who is sleeping and doesn't know he's tied to a shotgun trigger...

oh man...I'd hate to be that guy.

So basically, MB Blog's sPOoOoOoOoktacular review is that the first 45 mins are pretty non-memorable, but if you can get past that and get to the revenge part, it's definitely worth the watch!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Lifetime Movie Network IS Scary!

Because Cablevision's prices have become so scary I just can't take it anymore, we decided to make the switch over to Verizon Fios.

So far, since we are in the "special deal" phase, we are loving it.

There's so much to enjoy...FearNet is here and bountiful with its free movies...I watch them all and have some great ones I want to share my thoughts on them with you...

There's the Chiller mmm good...

And then there's a uterus's best friend: Lifetime Movie Network, or LMN to the "chick movie" savvy.

Oh man, I can't get enough. It's a buffet of movies that we women love.

But you know something, these movies can be pretty scary!

you can actually go through 121 pages of movies and see all of them in their majesty on the LMN website...

I mean, look at some of the titles:
"A Face to Kill For"
"A Killer Among Friends"
"Killing in a Small Town"
"A Nightmare come True"
"A Perfect Murder"
"A Vow To Kill"

I could go on and on...all of them wonderful and disturbing.

I'd like to give you a few of my favorites:

1.  No One Would Tell.

I'm going to take "best Lifetime movie" ever one step further...This movie might be the best MOVIE ever.  You've got Fred Savage and Candace Cameron in an abusive relationship.  Sally Jessy Raphael makes a cameo.  Watching the guy from the Wonder Years as a monster terrorizing poor DJ Tanner to a brutal early 90's soundtrack is like a morbid dream come true.  This movie is a must see if you are a human being who likes movies.

2. A Cry For Help: The Tracey Thurman Story

This movie is incredible because it is a true story. This poor woman is terrorized by her crazy husband and he STABS her and STOMPS on her head while the cop just stands there and moves his car around and looks confused...miraculously she lives and sues the police department for doing jack shit while Dale Midkiff jumps on her head and screams "I KILLED YOUR MOTHER" to their young son. This movie makes me ROAR at my tv at the cops AND Dale Midkiff. It's a must see.

3. A Girl Like Me: The Gwen Araujo Story

This movie is so sad. Also a true story, and Mercedes Ruhl is the mom, so obviously she tears it up. It's about a boy who wants to be a woman, and is killed because of it. It's gripping and sad. Also scary that people are a-holes and ignorant and intolerant of others to the point of killing in a brutal way.

4. Nightmare at the End of the Hall
"Courtney Snow (Sara Rue), an author with writer's block, still haunted by the suicide of her best friend while they were in prep school, finds herself teaching at the very same school while trying to get back on her feet. She encounters a young student, Laurel, who seems in every way to be the reincarnation of her best friend from years ago. Laurel seems to know things about Courtney that only dead friend would have known. Is she losing her mind or is it all a cruel hoax? In order to learn what is going on in the here and now, Courtney must first deal with what happened back then. Courtney thought she knew everything about Jane's death, but she never knew the whole truth. If Jane's spirit is indeed working through Laurel, Jane's got unfinished business. One thing is certain; Jane's suicide was never the simple tragedy everybody wanted to believe that it was. "

5. Secrets in the Walls
"Single mom Rachel Easton (Jeri Ryan) and her two daughters, Molly (Peyton Roi List) and Lizzie (Kay Panabaker), move from their cramped Detroit apartment to the suburbs when Rachel gets an irresistible deal on her dream house. But with the night comes scratching from within the walls, distant cries, and a figure of a young woman in the shifting shadows of the basement, and Lizzie begins to behave strangely"

6.  Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?
Tori Spelling is in this...Need I say more?  Ok, fine, she dates a crazed stalker and her mom tries to intervene which could prove deadly...ahhh!

7.  Video Voyeur:  The Susan Wilson Story
Oh my God this one is so creepy.  They move into this house and their creepy neighbor is VIDEOTAPING them and keeping tapes!!! AHHHH!! That's terrifying!

8.  A Deadly Encounter
A woman driving home late at night accidentally cuts a guy off driving home...the guy unfortunately is a psycho stalker who now wants her dead.  This is legitimately scary to me, the idea anyway, because people on the road are in-sane!

9.Hunger Point  /   Perfect Body

What would LMN be without eating disorders?  Perfect Body is about a gymnast who is told to lose a few pounds and it frightened me...Hunger Point has Joan from Mad Men and Barbara Hershey and it also deals with eating disorders. True Lifetime form here, people.

10.  Speak

Bella from Twilight (fine, Kristen Stewart) is raped and becomes introverted.  This one isn't too scary, minus the rape part, but it's more about her coping with it.  Actually, it is kind of scary.  Rape IS scary.  I take back what I said before.

Ugh, it's so hard to narrow them down...What's your favorite Lifetime movie?