Friday, May 23, 2008

Mummy-Morial Day

Sorry for my lack of all-things-scary this past week. Right now, my Job is competing with Halloween for scariest thing on Earth.

Now, let's talk about Mummies.

SpoOoOoky vs. not SpoOoOoky

I really feel like that Brandon Fraser movie tarnished just how scary mummies should be.
And then of course, some genius decided to make a film about a kung fu mummy, that includes such endearing characters as "motel hooker" and "boob boxin' chick".

but in all honesty, the idea of preserving a corpse...and that maybe that said corpse will return looking creepily embalmed, perhaps in a zombie-esque state, sounds kind of spoOoOoOky to me!
I mean, just look at this and tell me it doesn't creep you out:

alive? dead? who knows!

but why can't mummies come off as scary in movies? Honestly, If I had to choose between anything vs. mummy in a movie, I'd always choose the opponent...unless the opponent was a butterfly, or a stick of gum.

Who could help me find the answer?

no need to get out your magnifying glass...that's a screen shot of me asking jeeves "why aren't mummies scary?" and you know his answer? "Mummy Scary" and that I can save on 50,000+ costumes at Mummy Scary!

Maybe it's their fragility? Could it be that they have been preserved for so many hundreds of years that they'll just crumble and blow away?

I can tell you one scary mummy movie was in Tales from the Darkside...remember that one? where the kid (Matthew Lawrence) tells the witch (Debbie Harry, btw) 3 horror stories while she prepares to cook him in the oven? what a great one! anyway, the first movie was called "Lot 249" based on an Arthur Conan Doyle short story. It's about a mummy wreaking all kinds of mischief. Julianne Moore and Christian Slater are in it. Oh, and like every other movie ever made, Steve Buscemi is also in it. Seriously, a star studded cast for a movie that is considered the 3rd installment of Creepshow.

I don't know the verdict on this one...Mummies: Scary or not? You decide!


Jim said...

Movie mummies: Not scary

Real mummies: Scary.

Also, typing the word "mummies" is really unnatural. I feel like i'm spelling it wrong.

I can honestly say that i've never typed the word mummies before.

Anyway...Brendan Fraser mummies are made of dust and attack in tornado of dust and earth.

Not scary.

However, mummies like the one featured in HBO's Autopsy: "Death Mask" are unnervingly scary.

You really put the maximum amount of effort into your blogs. It's to be commended.

You're cool as ice.

Monster Bash said...

As always, Jim, your responses are always well received here at Monster Bash Blogtown.

I agree with your decision. Movie mummies aren't as scary...but why, we may never know for sure.

And thank you for reminding me of Death Mask...that was excessively creepy, maybe not because of the mummified body masked with perfume...maybe because the guy was having a love affair with a mummified corpse? either way, excellent contribution! Keep an eye out for a special tribute to Dr. Baden himself!

And "mummies" is weird to type.