May Mayhem

So we've reached the halfway point...we're a mere 6 months away from the greatest time of year...182 short days away!

Since we're such great spoOoOoOky friends, I figured I'd let you in on a little f.y.eye about me-there is actually one thing about horror that i don't like.

I am really turned off by realistic horror.

you know what I mean: the kind of horror where you watch a death scene, and are questioning if what you just watched was real or not.

I like off the wall, ridiculous, completely unrealistic horror...except movies about sharks. those I like. I'm fascinated by sharks. but I've already written about my love/fear of sharks...I'm talking about movies that make it look like someone really got killed.

that's not fun for me. that actually makes me unhappy.

I mean, I love blood and guts and gore...but not when I am convinced that it's really happening.

and I know what you're thinking: I'm a wimp.

and you're right. I don't like that type of horror.

Here's my top 3 movies that I am not interested in seeing again/at all because, frankly, they make me want to barf in a bad way (WARNING: NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART AND DEF. NOT FOR KIDS-a.k.a. me):

1. The "Saw" franchise.
I saw the first one-I love Cary Elwes...but...eh...Jigsaw? what kind of a killer is that? I guess the first one was alright...but come on...4 sequels? Only Michael, Jason, Freddy, and Leatherface are allowed. sorry buddy. This scene made me confused...do I blame her? I dunno. I guess in this situation probably not. It definitely makes me wonder what Jim would do in this situation...

p.s. someone actually commented and said that she should have "carefully dissected" his stomach...I laughed out lout at that.


2. The "Hostel" franchise.
Ok. I saw the first one. All I remember is me repeating "oh my god...oh...my...god" or "i'm going to be sick" or "i'm going to throw up". It literally made me upset. Eli, seriously...wtf? I saw Cabin Fever and secretly loved it because it was so silly...but Hostel? hostel made me feel unhappy with foreign travel. The torture scenes seriously feel so real and excrutiating....ugh...i'm getting queasy thinking about it. This scene makes me almost barf just watching it. I actually couldn't watch the whole thing before putting it in here. the character even barfs...that's how upsetting this is:


the ending though for Hostel...was great. This was the only thing that made me feel better...REVENGE!!!:



and then they made a sequel...aka "Hostel with girls this time" and it looked equally as upsetting. I never even dared:



3. Cannibal Holocaust.
Ok, I had to look up to make sure it wasn't real. It's kind of the original "Blair Witch" of gruesome-is-it-real-or-isn't-it footage shooting. Seriously, It tops almost every modern list for death scenes. it is almost unbearable to look at. I also just found out that they're doing a remake for next year...gross. Here's the original trailer:



Sorry that this was such a visually offensive way to start May off...I hope you're not too nauseous for the magic of the Halloween season!